New Beginnings

It is New Years Eve! I always LOVE the start of a new year. I can't help but think about 2010 and everything that has happened this year. Let's recap the last 3 months. I decided to:

1) Get divorced
2) Move out
3) Change jobs

ALL AT ONCE

and suffered only 1 mental breakdown during the process. If only it didn't happen at work!

So Jeff and I moved a bunch of my stuff into this tiny little apartment with only 2 bedrooms and started to figure out all the details that go along with raising our children jointly but separately.

I've worked at making this place a home for my kids and we've settled in quite nicely.

And I changed positions once again at work. This time moving out of my old area and into a completely new area. This change actually feels like the biggest of all. It feels bigger than the divorce and it feels bigger than moving into the apartment. I think it is because I knew my old job inside and out. I loved that job. I loved those people. I cared about the work and I was good at it. I'd gotten married, had a couple miscarriages and had 2 kids while working at that building. I devoted a decade of my life to that work and then it was time to move on.

I received my promotion in the midst of moving into my new apartment and working out the separation details. It was perfect timing. It was more money right when I needed it and it was hope for a better future right when I needed it. It was a chance for a fresh new start. So everything in my life completely changed in the blink of an eye.

My relationship changed
My home changed
My income changed
My job changed
My coworkers changed
My boss changed
My job duties changed
My building changed
My parking changed

Absolutely everything changed - all at once - and I just rolled with it and moved through it and it felt really good! It was harder than hell at times but overall it felt right and it felt good.

I went from being the person who trains the new people - to being the new person in training.

I went from knowing everyone to not knowing anybody...and although I'm making new ones, I really do miss my old friends.

The first thing I noticed was the sense of freedom. They treat us like adults at my new job. It feels like a bunch of people working together to help our clients. There is an enormous amount of independence and flexibility and trust. They live and breathe collaboration. They have consult meetings for the purpose of collaboration. They form relationships with community agencies and with one another in order to serve the clients. It was like a breath of fresh air. It is a very relaxing and humane working environment.

On the flip side. They are completely disorganized. Partly due to the fact that their area is under constant change but I also think partly due to the types of people who choose this line of work. They are very go with the flow and haphazard. These aren't necessarily bad things. It is just so shocking to me coming from one world to this other world where the environment is so different. I see things that would not be acceptable in my old world and yet nobody seems to bat an eye at these things in my new world. I've been sort of going through a bit of culture shock as I adjust.

The good news is. I've always said there is the "work me" and the "real me" and that I bring the "work me" to work because they'd fire the "real me". I often felt like my home life/personality and my work life/personality were very different. I don't think that is going to be the case anymore. At this new job - I can bring the "real me" and she fits in perfectly. These people talk like me. We act the same. We understand each other. That is nice.

The bad news is. I don't think I realized what I was getting into with this new position. I've been trained how to go into a client's home without "bringing anything home" (like bedbugs). ICK! I still shiver every time I think about it. There is just a world of diseases and bugs and such that comes along with working with the public - in THEIR homes. There is a reason that social workers dress the way they do. (Insert mental image of social worker). You do NOT want to look like a target when in a poor neighborhood. You don't want to get mugged for your cell phone or blackberry or laptop. You don't want bugs crawling into your nice purse and coming home with you. You shouldn't wear 3 inch pumps while navigating slippery sidewalks and you probably don't want dog and cat hair all over your dry clean only pants.

But again - the good news is it really is nice to know that I'm helping people stay safe in their homes in the community instead of ending up in a nursing home. These people need our services and there is a reason we go out to their home to provide these services - they just can't come to us.

I suppose that is enough about work.

Let's see. We have to finalize the divorce details and make things official this year. I'm not looking forward to it. I think it will be rough. I can't wait until that part is over.

I'm hoping and praying we're able to move somewhere else next fall. This place has been wonderful for now and I'm looking forward to enjoying the outdoor pool with the kids this summer but I can't wait to move somewhere where I don't have to share a room with my kids.

I think I'll just post pictures of the last few months to remember what we've done since all the changes last fall.

Goodbye 2010
Welcome 2011