Today's ramblings

Kira had her 1 year (a month late) physical today. I made two highlighted notecards for Jeff with the info about which immunizations she will/won't be having. I coached him while he was half asleep before I left for work on exactly how to handle any "pushing" by the doctor for certain vaccines.

Apparently we'd made an impression because for the first time ever - there was no pushing. No guilt trip...no encouraging...no prodding...no convincing...no fake smiles while believing we are neglectful parents. They just looked down at a note they'd made in Kira's chart from last time and asked, "What shots will you be having today?" Imagine that?! Leaving it up to the parents. Seriously. You'd think it'd be this easy every time. I'm amazed. I've never experienced that in 6 years of parenting and I missed it today because I had to work. Jeff told them she'd just be having the 2nd Polio shot. No MMR. We'll decide about the flu shot in October.

Jeff asked for mumps alone but was told they don't do that here in America. What the heck kind of insanity is that? Who is this wacko doctor? I'll have to research that. I've had the single rubella vaccine before. My childhood MMR didn't take. I still got the mumps as a kid. I was not immune to rubella so had that vaccine in the hospital after having Will. They didn't document it though which drives me insane. There is no record of it. I was there - age 30. I remember asking for it. I remember her giving it to me. I'm sure if they tested me now - I'd be immune to rubella. But my medical records don't reflect the fact that I've had that vaccine. Regardless, obviously they can immunize people for measles or mumps or rubella as single vaccines as needed. They don't always have to come as a cocktail.

They drew blood by pricking her finger and squeezing little drops of blood over and over and over into a little vile. Jeff had to restrain her. It took forever and she screamed and cried and now has red spots all over her face from the broken capillaries. I nursed her at least 4 times tonight between 5pm and 8pm just so she'd know that the world is safe and everything is fine. I talked to her (telepathically) while she nursed and stared into my eyes, "I'm so proud of you...I'm so proud of you...You did such a good job today" while I caressed her face and skin.

Then I finished this book . I'd seen it at Patina and didn't buy it. Then I saw it again at Target so I finally bought it. It's a great book! A woman's story about her love for her father, her journey with cancer and being in that "middle place" where you are both your parents' child and your child's parent at the same time. Loved it! Except for one sentence on page 205 that hit me like a ton of bricks as being dead wrong. But it is HER story - not mine.

I was reading the last chapter upstairs in my bed. Jeff was out with friends. Kira was in her crib sleeping. Will was on the couch watching Star Wars the clone wars since Jeff wasn't home for Friday Family Fun Night. Then Will comes up the steps...

Will: Mom - you freaked me out - not telling me where you were - you made my heart beat very fast without even moving

(We snuggle for a bit while I hold his heart and help him relax like Jeff does for me sometimes.)

Me: That feeling where your heart beats fast and you're not even moving - that's called when you get nervous

Will: I know - that's what I said

And now he's tucked in his bed asleep too. He asked me to keep the bathroom light on and his door open. I told him I'd be in the livingroom which is just on the other side of his bedroom wall. I told him if we cut a hole through the wall between us - I'd be able to see him. He asked if we could really do that. I said no and we laughed about how funny that would be.

So now it's storming outside and I'm blogging for much too long while I wait for my husband to come home so I can go to sleep in peace without having any twinges of being afraid of the dark. Odd that middle place... Intruders watch out - I will kick your ass if you come near my children - yet - the monsters and ghosts always seem to come out when I'm home alone at night. Maybe I'll do the dishes.