Mama and Kira

Kira and Daddy

We almost never put Kira in dresses and tights but I thought it would please the MIL. Doesn't she look cute with her Daddy?! I think she's looking at the tree with blue lights behind me.

Will's Christmas Morning!

William with a marshmallow sucker that must have been made at the North Pole because they just don't sell that kind of candy at the stores.

Will woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas and crawled into my bed. He was half-asleep and sounded very sad, "I only got ONE Legos...I hope Santa gives me Legos." Then he fell asleep again. THANK GOODNESS Santa got him Legos! I told him Santa spent a lot of money on those Legos ($70) but he reminded me that Santa didn't have to pay for them because the elves make the toys in the factory. Oh yeah. That's right.

Will's almost girlfriend Esther

Will has an "almost girlfriend". He had a crush on her in Kindegarten. I think they felt bonded because they'd gone to the same daycare years ago when they were too young to really remember one another but old enough to become friends.

He still likes her this year and after sledding today she drew a heart in the air and blew him a kiss. So he said, "You know I have to do it back" and drew a heart in the air and blew her a kiss. Then they played Monopoly and he said, "ladies first" and let her have the first turn.

He said Damagio and Essence are boyfriend/girlfriend and Robert and Helen are boyfriend/girlfriend but he's not boyfriend/girlfriend with Esther yet. He's waiting for her to make the first move. He's waiting for her to be the one to say it.

Apparently we didn't invite her to his 6 year birthday party and Esther told her mom that she sure would like to go to Will's party and Esther's mom told Esther that we have to get an invite to go. We'll be sure to invite Esther to Will's 7 year birthday party this year.

He also asked if it was okay to get married if you are different skin colors. I told him yes. He said even when you're old. I said yes. He said, "I knew it!" Apparently he just wanted to check that everything was okay with Essence and Damagio's union. We talked about how it doesn't matter.

He wanted to hear about the boy that liked me in first grade. I told him about the boy who would give me his toys from his cracker-jack box. I left out the part about how that boy tried to kiss me and I ran away and fell under the tire of the bus and thought I was going to get run over.

Then he mentioned that I didn't marry that boy....so we talked about how sometimes you like one person and then you like someone else and then someone else until you get a lot older and find the person you will marry. He wondered who that boy married. I have never wondered that myself since I always blamed him for almost killing me with that kiss.

So then I told William to go to bed since it was way past his bedtime and I can't have my little gentleman being tired and cranky at school tomorrow.

Will's Christmas spirit

Will: "Do you know what I see?"
Me: "What"
Will: "I'm looking deep into my heart and do you know what I see?"
Me: "What"
Will: "The Christmas Spirit. I have so much love."

Update

I have been neglecting my blog lately. Hmmm....Let's see....what's interesting?

I slept for 15 hours last night - from 7:30PM - 10:30AM. I have a little sore throat and Jeff has a little runny nose and Will has a little sore throat and Kira is a little off kilter so I think we're all fighting something off but - it's little - not big - so we're fine. I bet that sleep helped!

We put up our Christmas tree today! We got a real one this year! Yahoo! I love breathing in that fresh pine scent. It's not decorated yet though. We'll get to that tomorrow. Will can't wait until Christmas and has wrapped his plastic bowling pins as a present for Jeff. He wrapped my slippers as a present for me. I wrapped Kira's "go dogs go" book as a present for her (wrapped in paper towels). I wrapped Will's stickers and some Kit Kats as a present for him (wrapped in tinfoil). We'll open our previously owned gifts tomorrow morning.

I'm thinking of skipping the Christmas cards this year. Not feeling it. What's one year? We'll see...

Will is now a size 6 jeans. He completely grew out of his size 5 jeans - ankles showing and all. Amazing!

Will has a LOOSE TOOTH in the front bottom. He's very excited about that.

Kira is just a crazy little thing. Seriously. She's going to need to be enrolled in dance class ASAP...this girl loves music and movement so much!

Kira LOVES having books read to her lately. She loves her books!

She says "TREE" now. I suppose when there is a big Christmas tree in your living room it is easy to learn that word.

We bought a new star for the top of the tree. I wanted to return it because it just doesn't look right but Will says every time he looks at it - it reminds him of God and Jesus - so we'll keep it.

I told him years ago that Santa wasn't real because I couldn't stand lying to him but I think he forgot. He told me a few nights ago that he isn't quite sure if Santa is mom and dad or if Santa is real but he's thinking Santa is real. So we talked about how fun it is to believe in Santa. He asked Jeff about it today and Jeff told him "Of course Santa is real." Will said happily, "Okay, if you say so!" So that's fine. Santa is real. We do believe!

Kira's hair is a disaster. I'm not one to put barrettes in a baby's hair but in retrospect that would have been a good idea. Her hair is so long and keeps getting in her eyes and she really needs to have it clipped back until it grows out a bit longer but she isn't used to having anything in her hair so now she won't leave them in. We've been practicing putting barrettes in - hoping that one day she'll leave them in. Will wore a barrette today. Kira had one in for a few minutes. I put six in my hair. Nothing is working. Maybe if we all wear barrettes every day - she'll eventually keep one in.

Kira had her first candy cane today. She tried to share it with her stuffed bunny. It was very sweet.

Christmas Socks

William hung 4 socks on the fireplace and filled 3 of them with leggos and bakugan cards and stuff and left 1 of them empty. Then he came and told me that Santa came and put up Christmas stockings. He said that he looked in mine and it was empty. He said that was because it was filled with love. He said it was filled with 200% love.

I'll take an empty sock filled with LOVE anyday!

Read to me

Snuggling

Not a proud parenting moment...

She crawled up onto the table and helped herself to some chinese food and oranges.

Kira at the table like a big kid!

I also noticed that apparently we don't worry about matching PJ tops and bottoms in this HH.

School Photos

It was "picture day" a few weeks ago at school. Will's pictures were great last year. He wore a long sleeved blue button down shirt and we picked the blue background. They looked beautiful. I'm usually a creature of habit and don't like to mess with something that works for me. I ALMOST picked the blue background again this year. But we'd dressed Will in this cute little zip sweater that had just a touch of orange and green on it. I decided to go with the flow and pick the green background this year. Unfortunately we didn't plan ahead for picture day so underneath his cute little zip sweater he was wearing a bright orange NORTHEAST SOCCER
T-shirt because we didn't have any clean white ones. The orange barely showed behind the zipper and actually looked okay underneath the sweater. I figured the pictures would probably turn out just fine. We sent him to school.

He came home from school and told us about how he had to take off his sweater because, "The lady told all the kids to take off their jackets." The horror. I couldn't bear to think about what those photos would look like with his bright orange T-shirt and bright green background. I knew immediately that we'd be doing retakes.

Then we got the photos and besides the unintentional Halloween theme - they also had the 2009-2010 year written on them. I'd intentionally not checked that box. I didn't want writing on my photos yet home they came with some stamped with the date and some without the date. But his smile was sort of cute. The pictures were sort of endearing in a "this is a really bad photo of me mostly because I'm too young to know that I shouldn't take off my picture day outfit plus I was being such a good listener for the lady who said to take our jackets off."

So then I wasn't sure. Hmmm. Retakes or not? What kind of mother am I? How picky am I going to be about this? Do I really need to make him have retakes? We ordered a LARGE package thinking all the grandparents and relatives could frame their photos (retakes)...we'll have this photo forever with his Kindergarten through 12th grade photos (retakes)...but this one is kind of cute just the way it is (no retakes)...but his hair is so long (retakes)...but he is a NE kid (no retakes)...but the picture is so shocking to the eyes with those bright orange and green colors (retakes)...but look at that gentle smile (no retakes)...

I like to keep all my options open so we got his haircut last night (the night before retakes) so we'd be ready even though we were leaning towards just keeping the bad photos. Will ended up NOT having retakes. He's been home with a cough so didn't go to school. Decision made for us. This means we'll be sharing his photo with everyone and they can frame or not frame as they so choose. I'll still frame it.

I smile every time I see it.

Green Eggs and Ham

Coincidences/Intuition/Interconnectedness

Let's talk about this stuff again. You know it's my favorite topic.

There is this person that I run into all the time. Literally. Repeatedly. Physically. We collide. We crash into one another. This doesn't happen to me with anyone else on the entire planet. It is so annoying and it drives me nuts. The thing is...I believe that when we need to talk to someone or they need to talk to us - we're given opportunities for that conversation to happen. I believe that. So you'd think I'd be thankful. On the one hand - I love that this is the way the world works. On the other hand - it still drives me nuts when it happens.

There was this day that I was completely in the zone and everything was falling into place around me. I was moving slowly and peacefully and getting a billion things done. I was as productive as possible. I needed to give something to someone and literally turned around and this person was standing at my desk. I think there is a reason that happened that way. I think we're all interconnected and that there are no coincidences. Something made that person come over to my desk right then and it was probably the fact that I was thinking about them.

I had another day like that recently. Same thing. I was doing something with someone that impacted this 3rd person and was making a mental note to email this 3rd person and then out of the blue for no reason this 3rd person just stopped by to chat about nothing in particular. So I didn't have to email them and could tell them that thing right then and there. It was so great.

Those are days when I'm just totally in the zone. They happen a lot.

Yet there are days when I am completely not in the zone and everything possible goes wrong. We've all had days like that. Aren't those always the days when we're rushed and stressed and need to get a million things done and yet somehow we get nothing done? We'll say, "of all the days (such-in-such) had to happen today." It's like if we're running late and then we just happen to get stuck waiting for a train and that makes us even more late. I haven't had one of those days for a while.

I think I'm learning that when one of those days starts...I need to simply be okay with the outcome and just let what will be - be. I just need to let what will come - come. I try not to fight it or stress about it or worry about it or prevent it. I just try to go with the flow and be in the moment and KNOW that everything will work out okay - because it always does. Everything always works out okay in the end. This process sort of nips the bad day in the bud and can turn it into a good day. I believe it is our choice to either live "in" or "out" of the zone. We can go with or against the flow of life. Whatever name you want to call it: God - Spirit - Energy - Law of Attraction - Life Force - Tao - Intuition - Inner Voice. I don't care the name. Whatever you want to call it. Something is at work here.

Here's another example:
The other day there was a glass of water on Will's floor. I felt like I should pick it up and bring it to the kitchen. I told myself "no". I didn't want to move it. I told myself it would be fine there. Then I went into another room and there was another cup of water. I again felt urged to grab that one and go back and grab the other. Did I? No. I resisted. I didn't want to. Like a child saying "no" to my parent, I resisted and I told myself again that they'd both be fine where they were for now and that I'd get them later. I was having a conversation with myself about how I wasn't going to do this thing that needed doing and how it would be fine and I'd get to it later.

Okay. No big deal right? So then I end up letting Kira play in Will's room and she ended up spilling the cup of water all over his floor. It spilled all over his little puzzle pieces and caused them to warp and get ruined. I tried to mold them back into shape while they were soggy but that caused them to rip. Now Will can't put together any of those puzzles because Kira spilled the water on them because his Mom refused to listen to her inner voice. Seriously. It's almost comical - but it's not. I KNEW I should have moved that water - it felt like someone was telling me to move those glasses - yet I resisted.

Now that would be living AGAINST the flow. That would be NOT being in the zone. Had I listened - the day would have had a better outcome.

I also find it really interesting that I'm not thankful when these things happen. I was putting the dishes away the other day and I had a moment of intuition where I knew I needed to stop and immediately go do something else. Of course I resisted at first and then finally I said to myself, "okay fine" and went to go do it. I say that all the time to myself. I have these moments of intuition and I always say, "Okay fine" and go do it. I act like a child being forced to do something against my will instead of an adult who is so thankful to be able to pick up on and respond to her intuition.

I'm trying to get to a place where I'm actually THANKFUL for my intuition and actually listen to my inner voice the first time around. I really believe my life would be so smoothe if I was actually going with the flow and living in the zone like that - all day long - every day. That would be great. So that will be my goal. To be thankful for my intuition and to act on it - to trust my instincts and to go with the flow and be in the zone. It requires a lot of flexibility because sometimes I just want to do whatever I want to be doing but I know it's important to slow down and listen and act consciously in every moment.

Coincidentally - After writing that part above yesterday and saving it as a draft I ended up reading this thing on Facebook by this group Romancing Your Soul which was all about - you guessed it - listening to your intuition/inner voice.

So now it's today and I have more interesting little coincidences to add:

Jeff and I recently had a conversation about how this music group should have T-shirts or something made to promote their band.

Then I had someone listen to their music today and this person mentioned a different band. I'd never listened to this other group's music before so I planned on checking them out on You Tube.

Then I went to Subway with Will for dinner because I didn't want to cook and there was a group of maybe 6 boys there. They were all about 16 or 17 years old and one of them was wearing a sweatshirt with the name of this other group's band. So we started talking about it and I asked him if he'd heard about the first group. He smiled and said he had and so I told him about their new album coming out. He looked excited and said he'd check it out.

My point is - I don't really know anything about this other group and then in ONE DAY someone talks to me about them and then later on I notice someone else wearing their shirt - which is also odd because Jeff and I were just talking about the importance of marketing/promotion and having shirts made with your band's name on them.

Seriously. Coincidence? I think not. Maybe I needed to have that conversation with that kid. His eyes sure did sparkle and he got all excited when we started talking about music on this day that he'd just gotten done telling his friends was one of the "worst days of his life." Maybe now he'll have a good night listening to some music.

Lessons learned: go with the flow - be in the moment - listen and act and say YES when your inner voice/gut/instincts/intuition is telling you to do something - there are no coincidences - life is magical - be THANKFUL.

I could go on. I have so many examples but I suppose that's enough for now. My instincts are telling me that this blog post is way too long already.

Happy Halloween

Darth Vader Will (6) and Scarecrow Kira (1)

Kira and Mom

Breakdancing

Last week was NO SCREEN TIME WEEK. It turned into REDUCED screen time for the family but was a huge improvement overall. We spent our time playing games and singing and reading and practicing our breakdancing. The bad news is that the breakdancing resulted in a small disaster involving lots of glass and shattered picture frames. The good news is that nobody got hurt, the frames can be replaced and our breakdancing is improving daily!

Yoga

I did some Vinyasa Yoga at the YMCA with a friend on Sunday! I loved it! I'm addicted!

Well, maybe not addicted since I've only gone once in my life for about an hour and I was probably the weakest and least flexible person there - but I had fun! I'm thinking I should find a yoga place by my house so I can go more often. Maybe I'll wait until my legs aren't sore. This must be what happens when you don't exercise for 2 years and then decide to be a Yogi. (I realize I'm not an official Yogi but since I look a lot like the gentleman in the picture above - let's call me one). Maybe if I do yoga more often - I won't look like this nice yogi anymore.

Same Window - Different Kid

(Kira - 14 months)

Wordless Wednesday

Will at 15 months (Kira's age now)

Blog Without Obligation

So I've been feeling the need to apologize for my blog posts lately...too long...too many in one day...crazy middle of the night ramblings...

Whenever I get this feeling - I usually start deleting posts. Instead of deleting I'm going to continue posting whatever I want - whenever I want - and I'll make them as long or as short as I want - with as many posts in one day as I want - or as many days between posts as I want...
without feeling the need to apologize and/or delete.

I'll be BLOGGING WITHOUT OBLIGATION!

I need an attitude adjustment...

Mommy is losing her mind from too many days at home with sick children. There is only so much leg tugging and baby holding and listening to whining and crying and nursing that I can handle. I'm sure I've lost it.

Jeff just called to check in and I told him Kira was driving me crazy. He suggested I put her in Will's room to play. She loves it in there because it is "off limits". I told him he was a nut since there is a reason that room is off limits (lots of little choking hazards) but he says Kira doesn't eat everything anymore and she loves to play with his toys and that as long as I clean up afterwards - Will won't ever know she was in there.

Ah - 5 minutes peace! My husband is a genius. I might just blog all day long since really - no laundry or anything is getting done today. How long until nap time? I put her down at 10AM since she clearly needs sleep but she refused and cried off and on in her crib so I got her out of there and she proceeded to pull the books off the bookshelf. So then I was wondering how these stay at home mom's actually stay sane and decided it was a good time to get dressed - although somehow that hasn't happened yet.

Anyway. I decided to post about how thankful I am since I realize how selfish it is to whine like this. I should be thankful that my kids are getting better. I am. I just keep forgetting so I'm going to focus on being grateful.

I am so...

1) THANKFUL that Kira's almost 104 fever is back down a bit. (I don't actually know what her temperature is right now but she's not burning hot anymore. I'm just letting her body do it's thing. I am so THANKFUL that she has a strong body and a healthy immune system.)

2) THANKFUL that Will was able to go back to school today!

3) THANKFUL for the CD I'm listening to.

4) THANKFUL for the candle on our fireplace.

5) THANKFUL that Kira is playing with Will's old toy computer and listening to all the sounds/letters of the alphabet.

6) THANKFUL that Kira is talking and turning into a whole little person.

7) THANKFUL that we have lights that work on this very gloomy and cloudy day.

8) THANKFUL that William can read "Green Eggs and Ham". Yay Will!

9) THANKFUL that I don't have to pay any health insurance premiums this month.

10) THANKFUL for our house and cars and jobs and family and health and friends and for Jeff and Will and Kira and Will's fish, Little Blue.

11) THANKFUL that Kira loves to dance and sing and move. I love that about her!

12) THANKFUL that we have daycare.

13) THANKFUL for the way that doctor cared for Kira yesterday. She was so gentle. I guess she wasn't really a doctor. She was a nurse. She's their lactation consultant but that's what happens when you have no appointment and they squeeze you in. She still gave us the best care we've gotten in a very long while. She also touched Kira with love - slowly - gently -she caressed her. She even noticed and asked about these little rash like spots Kira had on her chest that I'd not noticed before.

I think it's time to take her temp again....just incase she needs some tylenol before her nap.

14) 15) 16) I am so THANKFUL for naps. I am so THANKFUL for thermometers. I am so THANKFUL for tylenol.

17) THANKFUL Kira can say "UP" and "OFF" even if all she wants is for me to pick her up and nurse her all day.

18) THANKFUL to have a little girl to hold and nurse.

19) THANKFUL for our furnace.

20) THANKFUL that Kira likes to hand me things and say "HERE YA GO" over and over and over.

21) THANKFUL to have the opportunity to experience this wonderful life.

22) THANKFUL Kira's fever is down to 101.2! That's better than 104. It's better than 102. Yay Kira! I am so THANKFUL she let me take her temp and that she's doing a great job fighting off this little bug.

23) THANKFUL for rain in the fall.

24) THANKFUL for our fridge full of groceries.

So....I think that worked. LOL!

25) I am so THANKFUL for attitude adjustments and perspective and gratitude.

The Sardinian Diet - Yum!

I caught a glimpse of Dan Buettner on Good Morning America today...and found the lists below about Blue Zone tips on Dr. Weil's website:

1. 80% Rule (stop eating when you're 80% full)

2. Plant-Power (more veggies, less protein and processed foods)

3. Red Wine (consistency and moderation)

4. Plan de Vida (know your purpose in life)

5. Beliefs (spiritual or religious participation)

6. Down Shift (work less, slow down, rest, take vacation)

7. Move (find ways to move mindlessly, make moving unavoidable)

8. Belong (create a healthy social network)

9. Your Tribe (make family a priority)

1. De-convenience your home – lose the remote, buy a light garage door and lift it yourself, use a shovel instead of a snowblower

2. Eat Nuts – Have a can of nuts around your office or home, eat a handful daily

3. Drink Sardinian wine – Sardinian canonau wine has the world's highest levels of antioxidants. Drink a glass or two a day

4. Play with your children – this is excellent low intensity exercise and will strenthen a family. Both associated with longer life expectancy

5. Grow a Garden – This proven stress reducer will put your body through the range of motion and yield fresh vegtables

6. Hour of Power – Downshift daily with a nap, meditation, prayer or a quiet walk--destressing is a proven way to slow aging

7. Eat Tofu – Arguably the world's most perfect food, eaten by the world's longest lived women. Contains a plant estrogen that makes skin look younger

8. Get a Tan – Doctors are rethinking the notion of slathering yourself with sunscreen. Up to half of Americans are Vitamin D deficient--a condition that can double your chance of dying in any given year. A tan not only looks healthy, it is.

9. Donate your large dinner plates – eat off 9 inch plates as the Okinawans do and reduce calorie consumption at dinner by 20-30%

10. Write Down your Personal Mission – Know and putting into practice your sense of purpose can give you up to a decade of good life.

KIWI update + Squalene?

We spent 3 hours at the clinic today. It's days like this that I'm so thankful we have health insurance. We make appointments at the blink of an eye. If none are available (like today) we go to urgent care. Every time I whip out those insurance cards and hand over that copay I think about all the people who don't have insurance...or who can't afford the copays.

Does that mean we're any better off? Nope. Took the kids to urgent care where they had a line and were literally giving out numbers just to get checked in. Then we were given a mask for Will since anyone coughing had to wear a mask. Then Urgent Care called over and got us in with the pediatricians office who squeezed us in for a DOUBLE even though they had no appointments available.

In short - Will seems to be fine. If his cough gets even worse - we're supposed to come back and they'll treat it. Kira's fever from Tues/Wed last week went away and now is back with a very sore (looking) throat, runny nose and cough. She's had 2 fevers within 1 week and 1 other one within the month...so they gave her urine and blood tests which confirmed what we already knew - she has a virus. They don't really do a H1N1 test. They just say it's viral and to watch her and COME BACK right away if she gets worse. So 3 hours and $30 later we still don't know more than we knew before - but we sure do feel better.

It bothers me that they don't label it H1N1. It'd be nice to give it a name. I don't know who these doctors are that are actually testing. It seems to me that for them it's less about getting an accurate count of the number of people who have this thing and more about filtering out who needs additional medical care and who can go back home.

Luckily - we were sent back home.

So I've been giving a lot of thought to the vaccinations and such but - if it's what my kids had/have - I'm thinking it's not the worst thing in the world. It seems rather typical. Maybe they don't have it. Maybe they have some other virus. Maybe it affects people differently and you really only have to be concerned if you develop secondary conditions (which is why Kira's 2nd fever in 8 days was alarming). Who knows. I have no idea.

I feel bad sending Will to daycare/school last Thursday because there are a lot of other kids there who are also sick now. If any of them have asthma - they'd likely be at a greater risk for complications.

Side Note - Just got a call from MPIRG to donate to the health care reform cause - while I'm blogging about our health care. Very interesting. Had to donate. Now I'm supposed to call Senator Amy Klobuchar 202-224-3244 to prompt for Health Care Reform WITH a public option. Will do.

So anyway apparently this H1N1 vaccine has squalene in it. I realize I write about vaccinations a lot. It's not like I'm anti-immunizations. Will has been vaccinated for everything. (His health just went downhill fast after getting EIGHT vaccines at once - let's say that again - EIGHT - who in their right mind would do that to my kid - and how could I have let that happen). It could all be coincidence - but I doubt it. No more vaccines for that kid until his immune system has had a chance to rebound. Kira has been vaccinated for maybe 60% of what is recommended. All I want to do is educate myself this time around about each vaccination and then make educated decisions. Only then am I comfortable either risking the vaccine's side effects to prevent a more serious illness....or risking a less serious illness to avoid sticking toxins into my kids.

I just want to know what the heck I'm saying "YES" or "NO" to. I remember blindly saying "OKAY" to whatever the doctor told us to do with Will. I didn't like it. Call me controlling. Call me whatever you want. I just want to know what the heck I'm putting into my kids.

So anyway - Naomi Wolf posted something on facebook about the squalene in H1N1 and then I found this article. I have no idea if it is reputable or not. I just find it interesting. It makes sense to me and if my kids have/had H1N1 - then I'm thinking 1) they won't need the vaccine because then they'll be immune anyway and 2) the vaccine sounds riskier than the illness. Unless my kids have/had a different virus - then who knows. Maybe this H1N1 is a killer that we should avoid like the plague (pun not intended but intentionally left in because it is rather funny in a pandemic sort of way). Who knows. We'll just wait and see.

Let's all hope that Kira gets better instead of worse. Will appears to be in the clear and will go back to school either Wed or Thurs (more to protect others from his cough). Kira - we're still waiting to see. She doesn't feel well and now after being exposed to 3 hours of all kinds of other germs at the clinic and having a catheter put in and having blood drawn and her throat swabbed twice...she's exhausted. Poor thing.

Here's the info from the link. This Mercola guy could be a quack - I have no idea. I'm just saying all information is good information and all discussions are good discussions.

By Dr. Mercola

According to Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, your children should be the first target for mass swine flu vaccinations when school starts this fall.[i]

This is a ridiculous assumption for many reasons, not to mention extremely high risk.
In Australia, where the winter season has begun, Federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon is reassuring parents the swine flu is no more dangerous than regular seasonal flu. "Most people, including children, will experience very mild symptoms and recover without any medical intervention," she said.[ii]

Sydney-based immunization specialist Robert Booy predicts swine flu might be fatal to about twice as many children in the coming year as regular influenza. Booy estimates 10-12 children could die from the H1N1 virus, compared with the five or six regular flu deaths seen among children in an average year in Australia.[iii]

“Cure the Disease, Kill the Patient”
Less than 100 children in the U.S. die each year from seasonal flu viruses.[iv] If we use Australia’s math, a very rough estimate would be another 100 children could potentially die of swine flu in the United States in the coming year.

If children are the first target group in the U.S. per Sebelius, that means we’re about to inject around 75 million children with a fast tracked vaccine containing novel adjuvants, including dangerous squalene, to prevent perhaps 100 deaths.

I’m not overlooking the tragedy of the loss of even one child to an illness like the H1N1 flu virus. But there can be no argument that unnecessary mass injection of millions of children with a vaccine containing an adjuvant known to cause a host of debilitating autoimmune diseases is a reckless, dangerous plan.

Why are Vaccinations Dangerous?
The presumed intent of a vaccination is to help you build immunity to potentially harmful organisms that cause illness and disease. However, your body’s immune system is already designed to do this in response to organisms which invade your body naturally.
Most disease-causing organisms enter your body through the mucous membranes of your nose, mouth, pulmonary system or your digestive tract – not through an injection.
These mucous membranes have their own immune system, called the IgA immune system. It is a different system from the one activated when a vaccine is injected into your body.
Your IgA immune system is your body’s first line of defense. Its job is to fight off invading organisms at their entry points, reducing or even eliminating the need for activation of your body’s immune system.
When a virus is injected into your body in a vaccine, and especially when combined with an immune adjuvant like squalene, your IgA immune system is bypassed and your body’s immune system kicks into high gear in response to the vaccination.
Injecting organisms into your body to provoke immunity is contrary to nature, and vaccination carries enormous potential to do serious damage to your health.

And as if Vaccines Weren’t Dangerous Enough on Their Own …
… imagine them turbocharged.
The main ingredient in a vaccine is either killed viruses or live ones that have been attenuated (weakened and made less harmful).
Flu vaccines can also contain a number of chemical toxins, including ethylene glycol (antifreeze), formaldehyde, phenol (carbolic acid) and even antibiotics like Neomycin and streptomycin.
In addition to the viruses and other additives, many vaccines also contain immune adjuvants like aluminum and squalene.

The purpose of an immune adjuvant added to a vaccine is to enhance (turbo charge) your immune response to the vaccination. Adjuvants cause your immune system to overreact to the introduction of the organism you’re being vaccinated against.

Adjuvants are supposed to get the job done faster (but certainly not more safely), which reduces the amount of vaccine required per dose, and the number of doses given per individual.
Less vaccine required per person means more individual doses available for mass vaccination campaigns. Coincidentally, this is exactly the goal of government and the pharmaceutical companies who stand to make millions from their vaccines.

Will There Be Immune Adjuvants in Swine Flu Vaccines?
The U.S. government has contracts with several drug companies to develop and produce swine flu vaccines. At least two of those companies, Novartis and GlaxoSmithKline, are using an adjuvant in their H1N1 vaccines.

The adjuvant? Squalene.
According to Meryl Nass, M.D., an authority on the anthrax vaccine,
“A novel feature of the two H1N1 vaccines being developed by companies Novartis and GlaxoSmithKline is the addition of squalene-containing adjuvants to boost immunogenicity and dramatically reduce the amount of viral antigen needed. This translates to much faster production of desired vaccine quantities.”[v]

Novartis’s proprietary squalene adjuvant for their H1N1 vaccine is MF59. Glaxo’s is ASO3. MF59 has yet to be approved by the FDA for use in any U.S. vaccine, despite its history of use in other countries.
Per Dr. Nass, there are only three vaccines in existence using an approved squalene adjuvant. None of the three are approved for use in the U.S.

What Squalene Does to Rats
Oil-based vaccination adjuvants like squalene have been proved to generate concentrated, unremitting immune responses over long periods of time.[vi]
A 2000 study published in the American Journal of Pathology demonstrated a single injection of the adjuvant squalene into rats triggered “chronic, immune-mediated joint-specific inflammation,” also known as rheumatoid arthritis.[vii]
The researchers concluded the study raised questions about the role of adjuvants in chronic inflammatory diseases.

What Squalene Does to Humans
Your immune system recognizes squalene as an oil molecule native to your body. It is found throughout your nervous system and brain. In fact, you can consume squalene in olive oil and not only will your immune system recognize it, you will also reap the benefits of its antioxidant properties.

The difference between “good” and “bad” squalene is the route by which it enters your body. Injection is an abnormal route of entry which incites your immune system to attack all the squalene in your body, not just the vaccine adjuvant.

Your immune system will attempt to destroy the molecule wherever it finds it, including in places where it occurs naturally, and where it is vital to the health of your nervous system.[viii]
Gulf War veterans with Gulf War Syndrome (GWS) received anthrax vaccines which contained squalene.[ix] MF59 (the Novartis squalene adjuvant) was an unapproved ingredient in experimental anthrax vaccines and has since been linked to the devastating autoimmune diseases suffered by countless Gulf War vets.[x]

The Department of Defense made every attempt to deny that squalene was indeed an added contaminant in the anthrax vaccine administered to Persian Gulf war military personnel – deployed and non-deployed – as well as participants in the more recent Anthrax Vaccine Immunization Program (AVIP).

However, the FDA discovered the presence of squalene in certain lots of AVIP product. A test was developed to detect anti-squalene antibodies in GWS patients, and a clear link was established between the contaminated product and all the GWS sufferers who had been injected with the vaccine containing squalene.

A study conducted at Tulane Medical School and published in the February 2000 issue of Experimental Molecular Pathology included these stunning statistics:
“ … the substantial majority (95%) of overtly ill deployed GWS patients had antibodies to squalene. All (100%) GWS patients immunized for service in Desert Shield/Desert Storm who did not deploy, but had the same signs and symptoms as those who did deploy, had antibodies to squalene.

In contrast, none (0%) of the deployed Persian Gulf veterans not showing signs and symptoms of GWS have antibodies to squalene. Neither patients with idiopathic autoimmune disease nor healthy controls had detectable serum antibodies to squalene. The majority of symptomatic GWS patients had serum antibodies to squalene.”[xi]

According to Dr. Viera Scheibner, Ph.D., a former principle research scientist for the government of Australia:
“… this adjuvant [squalene] contributed to the cascade of reactions called "Gulf War Syndrome," documented in the soldiers involved in the Gulf War.

The symptoms they developed included arthritis, fibromyalgia, lymphadenopathy, rashes, photosensitive rashes, malar rashes, chronic fatigue, chronic headaches, abnormal body hair loss, non-healing skin lesions, aphthous ulcers, dizziness, weakness, memory loss, seizures, mood changes, neuropsychiatric problems, anti-thyroid effects, anaemia, elevated ESR (erythrocyte sedimentation rate), systemic lupus erythematosus, multiple sclerosis, ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), Raynaud’s phenomenon, Sjorgren’s syndrome, chronic diarrhoea, night sweats and low-grade fevers.”[xii]

Post Vaccination Follow-Up Might as Well Be Non-Existent
There is virtually no science to support the safety of vaccine injections on your long-term health or the health of your children. Follow-up studies last on average about two weeks, and look only for glaring injuries and illnesses.

Autoimmune disorders like those seen in Gulf War Syndrome frequently take years to diagnose due to the vagueness of early symptoms. Complaints like headaches, fatigue and chronic aches and pains are symptoms of many different illnesses and diseases.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for vaccine purveyors and proponents to look seriously at the long-term health consequences of their vaccination campaigns.

Does it matter if it is H1N1 or not?

So - I'm thinking we might have H1N1 in the house. Or not - it could be anything. And seriously - who really cares? We just deal with it and get better like having any other virus. But since I've been up since 2:30 in the morning - so why not blog about it?

Let's recap:

Kira got sick (probably before Tues/Wed) but had a fever Tues/Wed. Not many other symptoms though. Stayed home with her.

Thursday morning - Will complained of a sore throat or runny nose or something and told us he couldn't go to school. Jeff and I gave each other the "I HAVE to go to work (Jen)...I HAVE to go to work (Jeff) looks and decided that Will was going to school regardless.

It's not that we're cold and uncaring parents.

It's not that we love work that much.

It's just that I had a baby a year and a half ago and had to use up ALL my sick and vacation time for maternity leave (wish we lived in Europe instead of America) and have been SLOWLY accruing sick hours since then. In the meantime, Jeff has been using up all his sick time handling every sick day for Kira or Will and/or doctor's appointments and fake sick days for himself (you know it's true honey). But besides having barely any sick days between the two of us and knowing we have to save what we have left incase one of us actually gets sick ourselves...part of us thought that Will was just sort of complaining since Kira had been home with Mom for 2 days and now Will likely wanted his shot at some alone time with Mom.

So we told him he's going to school and off to work/daycare/school we all went (infecting people along the way I'm sure).

Then on Friday when Will showed symptoms of actually coming down with whatever Kira had - I was so thankful that it was on a Friday that I'd already had the day off as a vacation day due to Will's no school day. I was counting my blessings that this happened on this Friday because it gave us a long 3 day weekend to deal with this and it also meant that he'd likely be better by Monday. I was so thankful about the wonders of life and about how the timing couldn't have been any better. And since I'd made a billion doctor's appointments on my productive Tues/Wed home with her - Kira had an appointment for an immunization and excema check on Friday - so I figured why not ask if the doctor can see them both since they will both be with me at the clinic and Will is actually the sick one now so maybe they can "make it a double" appointment.

So then again I gave thanks about the wonderful timing of all this and isn't life just amazing that I just happened to have a doctor's appointment scheduled for today at 10AM and that the wonderful woman on the phone went above and beyond and gave me the secret (reach a human) phone number for my clinic because she couldn't schedule a double from the appointments line. And how wonderful it is that the human at the clinic (that we wouldn't have normally been allowed to speak to) said it would be fine to make the appointment a double.

So then we have the appointment. Will gets a throat culture for strep and it's negative. The doctor is pretty sure he has what Kira had and since it seems to be moving through the house he turns and asks me how I'm feeling.

I think about how the right gland in my neck is swollen and I can feel it every time I swallow. I know my body is either fighting this off or about to come down with it.

Do I tell him? No.

I just tell him that "I'm doing good" or something like that. Is it because we are that programmed as adults to be polite? Seriously. He mentions something about Mom's being strong and we laugh and joke but we both know - I'm next. Giggle. I just find that so funny because you'd think that it would only make sense for me to tell the doctor about my throat...while I'm at the clinic and he's asking....but all I can think of is how lucky we are that they let us make this appointment a DOUBLE and the thought of making it a TRIPLE is beyond my comprehension.

The doctor told me about how he was semi-retired now and they had some new computer system and he couldn't access a record and thought it must be a sign that it was time for him to quit for good. Giggle. Don't we all think things like that are "signs". So funny.

What else I noticed - everyone I deal with for the past 2-3 years involved with this agency complains about this new computer system. When I had Kira - the midwives would complain about the new computer system - people not getting the care they need because it's harder to track what's going on via the computer vs the paper charts they were used to. After she was born and they typed in all the data about her weight and height and all that...the lady pushed some wrong keystroke and lost all the information. Then she didn't care so much the 2nd time around and Kira's precious stats were approximated a bit more and a bit less exact the 2nd time around. That hospital is affiliated with my place of employment and the insurance company is the insurance I get through work. Now THIS doctor is affiliated with the same insurance company and it's been a few years and HE's complaining about the same new computer system. It reminds me of our new computer system at my work and even though I think progress is important and I'm no stranger to technology....I know about all the bugs that happen that make us not able to work and I sometimes wonder if maybe - paper is actually the way to go.

Maybe things would be better if our doctors made house calls like they do in Europe. Maybe someday there will be some sort of Y2K type computer/internet disaster and everything will go - kaput. Whatever - until then - we blog at 3AM. Right?

Where was I? Oh yeah - So anyway - now Will's sick and I thought it was with whatever Kira had - but he's a lot sicker than she was so now I'm not so sure. Which means either his body is weaker and whatever they both had is taking a bigger toll on him or else it means that they have something different. That wouldn't be good because she was sucking on his juice box today and last thing I need is for her to get what he has now.

So when Will woke up at 2:30AM to tell us that he "couldn't talk" and that his throat didn't feel good and I could tell from touching him that his fever was higher than it was earlier today...I had to get on the computer to look up the H1N1 symptoms because that's just one I wasn't able to look up in one of my books on the bookshelf. It took FOREVER to get into the computer because it kept needing to be shut down and restarted (which I took as a SIGN that I shouldn't be on the computer - LOL!)

But finally I got in and read about:

Signs of influenza A(H1N1) are flu-like, including fever, cough, headache, muscle and joint pain, sore throat and runny nose.

Will has all of that...

A person should seek medical care if they experience shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, or if a fever continues more than three days. For parents with a young child who is ill, seek medical care if a child has fast or labored breathing, continuing fever or convulsions (seizures).

Will has the shortness of breath according to the doctor this morning. He always has difficulty breathing when he's sick because his "weak area" is his lungs. The doctors sometimes label it "reactive airway" or "asthma" but he's never been officially diagnosed. He used to have a nebulizer/albuterol for colds and such since he used to always get shortness of breath anytime he was sick.

So - now we wait - I guess we watch to see if the fever gets worse and track how he's doing. Maybe we go to Urgent Care since now it's the weekend and everything is closed. I'm in no rush to go there though since they tend to be useless for things like this. I'm so tired of hearing - yeah - your kid is sick - go home - rest up - drink fluids - take tylenol. It seems they can never do anything to help - why bother going in? Yet we probably will - because we always do - just incase - since you never know.

So anyway - now it's 4AM. Maybe it's H1N1. Maybe it's not. Maybe I'll get it next. Maybe I won't. Maybe Kira will get sick again if it's something different than she had before. Maybe she won't. Likely Jeff won't get sick because he never does. Likely I will because I always do. Likely Will has the same thing Kira had and she was better in 2 days so likely he'll be better in 2-3 days and likely I'll be back at work on Monday. Maybe I infected those I worked with on Thursday. Maybe not. Maybe now their families are sick. Maybe not. Maybe Will's classmates will get sick and Kira's daycare kids will get sick and some movie theater people that Will coughed on Will get sick. Maybe not. It sounds worse if it's H1N1 - but seriously - who cares. It's a virus. It will pass.

I should sleep.

William kept waiting up for me while I'd leave his room to try and get the computer to turn on so I could look up the symptoms. I'd go into his room now and then and massage/tickle his body to cool him off while we waited for the tylenol to kick in and I told him:

"Dad will be mostly taking care of Kira and I will be mostly taking care of you. I will be bringing you kleenexes and taking care of your throat and helping you feel better...but your job is to sleep. Maybe I'll snuggle in here with you and maybe I'll go sleep on the couch....I'll check on you all the time...but don't stay awake waiting for me - I want you to sleep because our bodies get better when we sleep."

And he is - so I will too.

Traded Everything For Love

What is really important?

Well I've been home with a sick kid the last couple of days and have been alternating between feeling really productive with these extra "weekday" chances to clean the house and do laundry and make dentist/doctor/eye appointments AND feeling completely exhausted because I'm not sleeping at night and I'm still taking care of her all day long.

We stopped at Caribou this morning to get coffee. I had her in my arms and went in my pajamas with bed head. I'm starting to recognize the employees who work there. That's not good. I'm not supposed to be a coffee drinker. This must stop.

I've been reading Mitch Albom's: Have A Little Faith when she naps. It's pretty good. I was thinking about PERSPECTIVE because being forced to stay home from work to care for her helps me focus on what is really important in life. (It also makes me want to quit my job and be a stay home mom - but that's a different converation). I was giving a lot of thought to this whole perspective thing and then eventually got to this part in the book - interestingly enough - also about focusing on what is really important in life. Love that! Love life!

From the book:
"A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.

"'Mom, guess what?' she squealed, waving the drawing.
"Her mother never looked up.
"'What?' she said, tending to the pots.
"'Guess what?' the child repeated, waving the drawing.
"'What?' the mother said, tending to the plates.
"'Mom, you're not listening.'
"'Sweetie, yes I am.'
"'Mom,' the child said, 'you're not listening with your eyes.'"

Lego Ship

Hope for a better future!

President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!

Thorbjoern Jagland of the Nobel Committee is quoted as saying, “Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world’s attention and given its people hope for a better future."

I love that!

Go-bama! Go-bama!

Siblings

So Will had a meltdown this morning because Kira was holding one of his stuffed animals. He is used to being an only child for the first 5 years of his life and now at age 6 is finally having to learn about sharing. So Kira is walking around the living room holding Will's Big Dog by the tail and Will starts crying about how she has his Big Dog.

I want to get him to calm himself down and ask politely for assistance instead of freaking out over the issue. My plan is to get the dog from Kira and not actually make him share Big Dog first thing in the morning when he's only been awake for 2 minutes and isn't stable yet. I just don't want him freaking out and crying instantly. I want him to remain calm and ask for help. I have no idea what is appropriate behavior for his age but I'm thinking a bit more emotional stability couldn't hurt.

He moves onto a chair and is having a "poor me" moment and then before anything else can happen...Miss Kira heads over to Will and starts hugging and snuggling with him. She has no idea that he's upset with her. She has no idea it's about Big Dog whose tail she is still holding. She just sees her 6 year old brother freaking out and crying and she - at 15 months - instantly goes over to snuggle with and hug him!

Isn't that amazing?! Amazing!

So then Will decides that he's going to go get some toy out of his room to give to her since she was being sweet to him in his time of need and now he wants to return the favor.

No parenting needed. They just worked it out. Love it!

Tribal Leadership

I liked this speech by David Logan. Love these TED videos!

and finally 2009!

Blast From The Past 2008

Blast From The Past - 2007

Blast From The Past - 2006

Blast From The Past - 2005

Blast From The Past - 2004

Blast From The Past - 2003

WILL biting his fingers by a sign at the zoo that says...

Kira's snacking

Little Miss Kira has been getting into food and feeding herself lately. We used to be able to keep the cereal cabinet 1/2 way locked/baby-proofed. It was locked enough to keep her out but unlocked enough so we could easily get in. That doesn't work any more. She has figured out how to get in and how to take out the cereal boxes. She'll go right into the cereal boxes and open the flap and unroll the bag and dump the entire box on the floor and start eating. I promise there is adult supervision in this house - she's just fast and quiet.

We were putting today's groceries away and she reached into the fridge and grabbed a pepper jack cheese stick. It was wrapped in plastic so I didn't think it would be a problem. Then somehow she got the cheese out. She bit and sucked on the end until finally she broke the seal and could get some cheese out.

The next thing I know she's sitting on the floor sticking her entire hand into this tub of cream cheese that William had left out when he'd had his cheese and triscuits earlier.

Then Jeff cleaned her hand up and went to put away the cheese and she went straight for his sandwich that he momentarily set down so he could attend to her.

I promise that we feed her. I'd just given her watermelon and blueberries and some chicken. She shouldn't have been THAT hungry. I think it's just survival of the fittest baby!

Charles Leadbeater

One more video to share. This guy has a different take on it but I enjoy listening to him talk about interconnectedness and collaboration and the web and such. It reminds me of when I posted a blog post about an old college professor a couple weeks ago and then he actually read it and posted about my blog on his facebook page! Seriously. Amazing! Talk about interconnectedness. So interesting!

What's on the bookshelf?

I highly recommend this book - Do They Hear You When You Cry by Fauziya Kassindja . I read it a very long time ago and am thinking about grabbing it off the bookshelf and reading it again...

Family Photo

Not so Wordless Monday

Interesting Coincidence. I was having a Wordless Monday so I was going to post a picture that I have saved in my "Pretty Photos" folder. I looked at two. I realized the second one had words and I read them and was amazed to find that they are part of the Desiderata poem on my Peace Amongst the Madness CD that I listen to all the time. I find that so interesting because I collected these photos in December 2008 and I didn't start listening to that music until the summer of 2009. It might just be me - but I find that totally interesting! I find the photo - like the photo - keep the photo - forget about it - listen to the music - like the music - find the photo again and realize it's the same as the music. What the heck is that?! I'm sure it's a combination of my favorite words but this is supposed to be a Wordless Monday so let's call it a day.

Interconnectedness? Synchronicity? Coincidence? Quantum Entanglement?

Julie and Julia

Finally saw the Julie and Julia movie. It was great! I didn't realize there was a blog element to the movie. That was fun. It reminded me of my very favorite blogger. This woman can cook! Even her salads are amazing! Two things I noticed about that movie though:

1) They never show anyone doing all the DISHES
2) Neither of those women had kids running around their houses

Because seriously - working and raising kids and cooking like that and doing the dishes... I only know of one person who I think will some day be able to pull that off!

We had Subway for dinner tonight and Perkins for lunch. We're going to some fireman's benefit for dinner tomorrow night. We'll probably have eggs or cereal for breakfast. I'll try to throw in a vegetable around lunch time.

I had 2 kids with diarrhea today. They BOTH pooped on my living room floor. Will pooped his pants outside. Then I took Kira's diaper off so she could have a breather and that is exactly when she decided to poop on the floor. Everyone was all cleaned up and later on I was having a pillow fight with Will who'd never gotten completely dressed again and then he laughed so hard that he pooped on the floor. Thank goodness we have hardwood floors...and thank goodness for my mom who watched the kids tonight so we could actually go see the movie!

What's going on with the stars lately?

Whitney left her abusive husband and is trying to stay clean one day at a time and has a new album (I Look To You) out. Yay Whitney! Here's a video of her singing on Oprah. Give her a break - she's had it rough lately. Listen to HER and don't judge it at all. Gotta love Oprah's love for others! You rock ladies!

Kudos to my girl Angelina for being the model for a sculpture intended to raise awareness about nursing. The sculpture is horrible though. So I'll post a different picture instead of linking to the bad sculpture with good intentions.




My man Will has a video out for kids about tolerance by the Will and Jada Smith Family Foundation. It's not great but it's good enough.

I think the common theme here is that none of these things are blow you away outstanding in the Hollywood Perfect way that we are so used to these days. Instead - they are REAL and they are GOOD - they are BETTER than Hollywood Perfect!

KIWI update

Miss Kira is such an active child! She is just soooo strong and soooo active and we're always asking her "what planet are you from?" She was running on the couch today and then diving down onto the pillows and then getting up and taking bites from the back of the couch cushins and then diving into the pillows on the other side and rolling around like crazy today. It's insane. She is so physical. Fearless and strong and physical! She dances and sings and is just full of MOVEMENT. It's interesting to see who is in that little body of hers. Sometimes I think her body is just too small for her BEING. She screams and shouts and yells almost for the pleasure of doing it. She's just a wild little child. Yet she can calm herself too and snuggle in as soon as she decides to stick her thumb in her mouth and soothe herself. My job is pretty much to keep her safe and contained and just let her do her thing...to encompass her while making sure she has an outlet for all this energy.

Will was so much more sensitive than Kira. I can't remember if I wrote about this already but Will was kicking this blow up toy across the living room the other day. I (good mom that I am) decided to show him just exactly where the sweet spot was and explained how if he kicked it lower it would actually fly farther and higher. Well - that worked a little too well and the thing went flying across the living room and crashed into our framed photos on the fireplace which then all fell down and landed on - Kira - who was looking UP to see the crash!

I immediately jumped into action not knowing if my child just got stabbed in the eyeball by the sharp corner of a wooden picture frame and as I swooped over to her...she screamed - like in ANGER (not fear...not sadness) - she was mad - and she HIT at her face over and over as if to get the pain off of her. It was such a forceful reaction! It was so interesting to see. She was fine - thank goodness! But her reaction was so her - so intense and forceful and strong. She was MAD and scared - not sad and scared - about the whole incident.

Anyway. She's also developing like crazy lately. Let's see...she is 14 months old and she is communicating so much lately. She's started saying "BYE BYE" when she waves instead of "baa baa" and she says "HOT" and "UP" instead of grunting and pointing "uh uh uh"...she says "UP" and "OFF" and such. She'll grab at her jacket and try to put on her shoes if she wants to go outside. She cries like crazy if she doesn't get what she wants. She's very persistent. I say, "No shoes, No outside" and she cries so hard and keeps asking over and over and over and over. I didn't feel William's "terrible two's" were bad. I'm thinking hers might be. If she doesn't want to go into her carseat...I have to pretty much restrain her and hold her down to buckle her in while she arches her back and squirms and resists.

Which makes me think about time outs. Will STAYS in time out. After the initial "who is the boss" adjustment period - with some holding him in the chair when he wanted to get out - he learned who was the boss and to this day will STAY in time out when I put him in the chair. It amazes me. I even used to "put him in timeout" when he was already strapped into his carseat. So really nothing would change. He was in his carseat. I'd be driving. Then he'd go slightly insane for awhile and eventually do something that warranted a time out and I'd tell him he was "in time out" even though nothing actually changed. I was still driving. He was still in his carseat. But now he was being punished and he'd cry and be sad about how he was in time out. I'm not so sure those things will work for Kira. I just can't see her personality doing time out in the say way Will does it. We'll see how it goes. At least I have a couple of years left before we have to deal with that.

I realize that's a strange note to end on - but that's all I've got. The crazies are in bed.

Oh wait - Will showed me his 1st grade room today. He also showed me where his old desk was (way in the back corner of the room as far away from the teacher's desk as you can get) and he showed me where his NEW desk is (right up in the front of the room as close to the teacher's desk as you can get). I have to say - I'm not surprised. I think that must have happened around the time when he stopped talking about loving school and started talking about hating school. He'll come home and talk about how it "was a hard school day" and the stuff she's making them learn is so "hard". Poor thing. I don't like that he dislikes school and thinks learning is hard. I sometimes wish we'd started him in Kindergarten this year instead of last year. He is one of the smallest and youngest in his class. I was always one of the youngest in my grades too. I turned out fine. I'm sure he'll be fine. He's a smart kid and he's so social and he gets good grades when he focuses. He gives up easily though on his homework. Sometimes he says to himself, "I can do it, I can do it" and chants this thing to himself that his teacher taught them because she doesn't want to hear them (him?) saying, "it's too hard...i can't do it..." We'll see how this year goes. He seems to be hanging in there. I just think we need a better way to educate our children.

School shouldn't be torture for bright loving happy kids like Will.

from Mom's fridge...

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

(Author Unknown)

S's Wedding!

Friends and Family & the Oddities of this Island

A few nuggets from my trip so far. Visualize a plane and a bus and a ferry (and lots of relaxing and people watching and listening to music) while I travel farther and farther away from home.

As I got closer to Martha's Vineyard I noticed a woman carrying a hat box (while her husband carried all their luggage.) Along the way I also saw at least 3 gentlemen wearing navy jackets with khaki pants. One even had a handkerchief in his jacket pocket. It reminded me of "Richie Rich". Very interesting people watching. Then I got on the ferry and the ladies behind me were talking about their hat boxes! I was listening to their accents and could tell they were from New York because they didn't have the Boston accent. I thought the ferry ride was rather exciting since I'd never been on a ferry but most people around me looked like they'd done it lots of times and they looked bored.

Somehow I started talking to the New York ladies about all the hat boxes and men in blue jackets and Boston, New York and Minnesota accents. It was so fun and I noticed that everyone within hearing range was listening to and enjoying our conversation. Their faces all went from dead and lifeless to smiling and listening with sparkling eyes. Because seriously - listening to the lady from Minnesota traveling to the Vineyard - talking to the New Yorkers - about women with hat boxes, men in navy sport coats, and accents - is fun stuff.

Then we arrived after 10 hours of traveling and walked down the ferry ramp into the pouring rain. My hotel was within walking distance so while everyone around me was rushing to get out of the rain, I was trying to fix my umbrella which kept blowing backwards and was getting completely soaked in the process. When suddenly - like magic - out of nowhere - this red umbrella popped open over my head and my sister, Teresa, was standing next to me saying, "Hi Jenny!". It was all very Mary Poppins-ish. Ahh...FAMILY.

Later that night we went to my sister Sarah's (the bride) house for dinner and I was still feeling a little like the tourist observing life in this new world until one of her friends joked about how someone had "materialized the perfect man" and I heard someone else talking about the "I-Ching". Ahh...FRIENDS and FAMILY.

One of their friends painted a beautiful glitter glue (henna tattoo style) piece of body art on my right arm (wrist to elbow). I'm loving it! The sun is finally out after 2 days of rain and I think it's a perfect day for a wedding!

P.S.
Hi Jeff and Will and Kira! I miss you guys! Thanks for the music Jeff - am loving it! I'm rocking out to the UP and dancing in line for the restroom on the airplane - bopping in my seat on the bus - dancing in my hotel room - and rocking out while I type this blog post. Now and then I talk way too loud over the music to people forgetting that it's only ME - not them - who can hear this music. Gotta run! I'll "unwind" this trip and do it all again backwards all day tomorrow until I'm back HOME with you guys! Kira - can't wait to nurse you! Will - you're going to love Mama's glittered up arm! (My mom just stopped by - I talked a little too loud to her - she asked what I was listening to - I handed her my left ear thing - she listened to the UP for a bit and then had a really good laugh. Who doesn't love a bit of hip hop to keep things real on this perfect little Island?!)